This pain is killing me.

duudeee, i miss my straight hair. =(
but no worries ! gonna straighten my hair in the summer.
cant wait cant wait.
after dat, maybe im gonna color my hair.
wakakaka.
get lighted up everytime i think about it.


so anyways, i pierced my ear.
yes, again.
pierced with babe jenny, jess and hana.
like dat 20 bucks bo liao edi. =="
i was my 1st inner ear pierced so im so damn proud of it.
but screwed by parents for a few seconds but than they shut up.
maybe they realized that they cant stop me from getting any more piercing.

ppl ask why am i so addicted to piercing..
i have no fcking idea.
maybe i just like to get myself blinged up ?
but no, im not a psycho who is addicted to the pain.
the more i pierced, the less pain i feel.
seriously.
the piercing did not hurt when its piercing but after i return home
fckk !!
damn fcking hurts.
since i pierced both of my ear, so yah, u can imagine how i sleep.
im so used to sleeping on 1 side and now i cant.

someone told me that piercing during summer is not good.
cuz apparently sweats could effect the piercing.
okay lah, i admit lah. does makes sense.
but i dun give a damn.
i would pierce at any season i wanna pierce.
planning to get another piercing next month ! woooooot !

unfortunately, i am now sick.
sorethroat + noseblock + fever
i dunno why and i feel so restless.
was actually suppose to pei my silly boy to shopping, but canceled it cause of my sickness.
lou gong, forgive me.... =(



* would include a pic of my piercing in the next post !

Once apon a time.

i was looking through Rach's blog archives from the every start and i came across a post when she was tagged and at the bottom of the post, she tagged me. the date ?

Nov 26, 2007 !

fulamak. i didnt even know i was tagged. so since im bored, i've decided to do the tag after 2 years of being tagged.

lol.

i am so update.

i hate thinking of people's name so i'll just go with whatever names that comes into mind.



1. Rach
2. Chung
3. Ade
4. Kim
5. Mandy
6. Suren
7. Shanae
8. YJ
9. Shah
10. Crystal
11. Erich
12. Fayemei
13. Jenny
14. Ee Hoong
15. Yap
16. Pei Fern
17. Billy
18. Lionel
19. Iskandar
20. Shaun


how do you get to know 14? Ee Hoong.
.... loooooooong story. But heard about him for the first time through Rach ?

what would you do if you had never met 1? Rach.
I would not be tagged. lol. kidding. i would diee.

what would you do if 9 & 20 had dated you? Shah and Shaun.
hell noooo !

would 6 and 17 make a good couple? Suren and Billy.
They dont even know each other. But they would be such a perfect couple, has so much in common. hahhaha

do you think 8 is attractive? YJ.
erm.. i guess..

do you know anything about no . 12’s family? Fayemei.
Yes, my shopping mate.

tell me something about 7. Shanae.
a true pianist !

what is no. 18’s favourite? Lionel.
i have no idea.... im such a bad friend. ==

what language does 15 speaks? Yap
eng, malay... do you speak mandarin and cantonese ?

who is 19 going out with? Iskandar.
I have no idea. gotta catch up with him soon.

how old is 16 now? Pei Fern.
15 going to 16. amazing bday : Dec 31st 1993. She got the whole world celebrating with her !!

when was the last time you talked to 13? Jenny.
few hours ago. asked for homework. :D

would you date 4? Kim.
awwww ~!! my lesbo.

would you date no. 17? Billy.
errr.. a nice friend. *silence*

Is 15 single? Yap.
Yes ! get him girls !!

what is no. 10’s last name? Cystal.
Ip. She's the name behind the movie 'IP MAN'

would you ever consider being in a relationship with 11? Erich.
HELL NOOO ! not over my dead body.

which school does 3 goes to? Ade.
SMKTBM.

where does no. 6 live? Suren.
Maluri.

what is your favourite thing about no.5? Mandy.
Her passion for fashion. :D

I am sorry...

I know I have not been updating about my life sometime now.
But these days i've spent most of time emo-ing that i have absolute no interest in blogging about my life activities.
Maybe its because of my period.
yes, im open about my period.
so just suck it !

I feel so bad.
I've been such a jerk lately.
and it had made our relationship hell.
we've never argued so many times before.

we're just too stubborn to admit our mistakes.
hell, we are still not admitting it now.

But....

We talked on the phone just now.
Didnt argue, but that time can sense that both of us really bu shuang.
Gonna bust to anger anything edi.
In my case, its tears.

Then he said something.
I just keep quiet. Didnt say anything.
Maybe he felt that i didnt care..

But i was quiet because i was listening.
His words, i feel so touched.

and i've realized that the things that he said are true.
and i've realized that this relationship is not only me one person only.
and i've realized that because of this relationship, he san fu alot.

i feel like a fcked up jerk.

I am not gonna talk about this topic anymore.
I am tired because we are always unhappy because of this.





老公, I am really sorry...
forgive me ?

Started in a simple conversation.

Mum and dad are finally back. damn, missed home and duchess.
infact, she is actually sleeping next to me with her butt near my face. i told you she's a bitch.

Did not blog much these few days. i was either busy shopping or emoing.
Been a rough week.

Things happen which i hope it didnt happen but i cant control that it happen and it is still happening.

Its your life. I cant control your life. I dont rule your life. You live your own life.

I'll just be standing right next to youu, holding your hand when you need me.

Maybe i shouldnt blame you. Maybe i shouldnt blame her. Maybe the one who is to blame is me.

I try to close this topic. But everytime i see her, i get this feeling.

This isnt about the past anymore.
Because it is the present that matters.
I hope you understand.

fck. i dont wanna think this.
mind, shut up.
thoughts, go away.

I cant get this things over my head. Am i selfish ?
Whatever it is, i will keep holding on.
Because I love you.
Period.

Random things i found in the internet.

i was just looking through a women's blog and i came across this.



in other words, 50 hottest men celebrities to have sex with...

and guess who's on the top ?

i got the f-ing shock of my life when i saw number 1.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH !

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.

need i say more ?

& WHY AMERICAN IDOL WHY ?!?!?!

as mum, the ultimate American Idol fan was not here, i've skipped American Idol for a week. and hell ! i even forgotten that American Idol is aired another ep.

i was planning to catch the show back when mum comes back.

a few seconds ago, i was the hollywood gossip. i was very much entertained until i scrow down and......

HORROR OF HORRORS !!!!


guess who was fucking elimated ?


Scott MacIntyre !

to those who goes like who ?! he's the blind man in the show. and he has a fcking good voice almost better than Josh Gorban ! and ! he actually entered U at the age of 14 ! not to mention he is super cute and nice.


what the fck is americans thinking ?!?!

WHY ?!?!

last week, Megan was voted out and i was so devasted. she like has the coolest tattoo lah okay !


ohmygosh.

i freaking regreted that i read the Hollywood gossip.

i hate spoilers.

gotta stop blogging.


AMERICAN IDOL, HERE I COMEEE !!!

Remember when ?

today someone gave me a link into a blog. i opened it and read it. nothing much, just a person saying about the person's life.

i scroll down and i saw a name that glued me into reading the blog. the blogger mention about him. and he didnt seem to be the same as last time.

last time i use to look back and regret the things that i kept so long inside of me without telling him my true feelings. he did not tell me his, so i did not tell mine. i was afraid of how things would turn out if i tell him. i used to wonder does he really have no more feelings towards me ? or is he just pretending like i am pretending ? pretending that everynight when we talk on the phone that we were not one.

i spent 2 years of my life thinking about him and how he feels for me. i spent 2 years wondering how he feels about me. i spent 2 years crying over him. and i spent 2 years listening him talking about her. ironically i spend 2 years telling him about different guys.

i used to think that love is just a game. but with him, i've learned that the greatest love is to be love and to be loved back.

Him,
i used to be confuse on to either love you or hate you.
i did not have the strength to hate you,
i did not have the strength to love you.

you had been the love of my life.
but you will always be my best friend.

you have thought me the meaning of love
and the most important,
how to love someone.

and now that you have found her

and i've found him.
i've learn to appreciate him more.
i've learn to cherish him more

all it is all thanks to you,
because i will have not know love if it wasnt for you.

and i'll be happy for you,
if you could be happy for me.

after all that we had been through.
i know we're cool.



Mr Wong,
i didnt believe in love until the day i met you.
i've never been as happy in my whole life.

we laugh.
we fought constantly,
but that have make me to cherish you more.

we have a long road ahead of us.
i do not want you to walk infront of me
i do not want you to walk behind me
i want you to beside me
hand in hand
through this road.

they dont know how long it takes,
waiting for a love like this.
i'll wait for you
i promise you.

because you gave me
something that make these all worth while.
you manage to disarm me
my soul is shining through.

if you're asking do i love you this much.
I Do.